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GUIDELINES FOR PERSONS USING
PUBLIC ROADS IN INDIA - Based on six weeks of actual experience....
Primary Objective The primary
objective for all road travellers is Complete your journey as
quickly as possible. The two main reasons for this are (a) You
must avoid either your or your vehicle's overheating in the
ridiculous temperatures and (b) levels of air pollution are such
that prolonged exposure could prove fatal. Therefore all of
the following Rules are made to facilitate achievement of the
Primary Objective.
Rule 1 Always Drive on the Left, except in the
following circumstances:
(a) you wish to overtake double parked vehicles.
(b) you wish to overtake another vehicle which is overtaking double parked vehicles.
(c) you wish to overtake the slow movers in a contra-flow.
(d) you are sick of waiting in a traffic hold-up on your side.
(e) See Rule 11.
Rule 2 : Speed Limits. These are largely
self-regulated. In heavy traffic in town centres, your speed will
be regulated by the density and position of other vehicles,
including auto-rickshaws, motor-bikes, scooters and bicycles and
of pedestrians. On the open road it will be governed by the
numbers of elephants, camels, cows, sheep, goats, buffaloes,
monkeys, dogs, cats and pedestrians encountered and by the age of
your vehicle.
Rule 3: Mirror, Signal,
Manoeuvre.
(b) Signal. Electric signals: Stop
lights - optional. Generally you will be travelling too close to
the vehicle in front to see them anyway.
Right and Left Indicators - as for (b) above and night use only.
At night, a right turn signal will be appreciated by following
vehicles if you turn right across three lanes of traffic on a
sudden whim. It could also save your side from being stove in.
Reversing
lights - if the vehicle continues moving forward, these are brake
lights which have been bleached by the sun.
Hand signals (daytime only): "I am turning Right" -
extend right hand limply with a finger pointing to the ground.
Waggle hand a little if urgent. Signal optional.
"I am turning Left" - Solo driver: signal not required.
With passenger: Passenger extend left hand limply with a finger
pointing to the ground. Waggle hand a little if urgent. Signal
optional.
"You may overtake me at your own risk. I may alter my course
or speed without warning" - extend hand limply, palm
upwards; curl fingers slightly. Signal optional.
(c) Manoeuvre. Drive your vehicle in any
direction and at any speed commensurate with achieving the
Primary Objective.
Rule 4 : Horn. The horn must be
used at least once every ten seconds throughout the journey.
Because of Rule 3(a), other road users must be apprised of
your presence at all times. Affluent cyclists use bell.
Rule 5 : Circles (known as
Roundabouts in other countries) Always give way at circles to
any vehicle which is more than halfway across your path. In any
other case you have right of way if you can bluff the other
driver into thinking that you have. Unless the other is a
cyclist.
Rule 6 : Distance from other
Vehicles.
A miss is as good as a mile.
Rule
7 : Lights. No
lights are compulsory at any time. As most vehicles do not carry
rear lights at night, headlights on full beam should be used to
detect the rear of a vehicle in front. The onus is on you not to
hit the vehicle, especially if it has the word STOP hand-painted
on the rear end. During daylight, full headlights switched on
mean "I am not going to move out of your way under any
circumstances, short of an act of God/Allah/Vishnu/Shiva".
Rule 8 : Road signs which
must be obeyed.
There are none, which greatly simplifies your journey.
Rule 9 : Traffic lights. There are sometimes sets of
these at the main large cross-roads in the centres of large towns
and cities. Generally they should be obeyed unless you feel you
can do a sneaky left turn without being noticed. If on the front
line, do not, under any circumstances, stall on the green light,
on pain of a destroyed auditory nerve. (see Rule 4)
Rule 10 : Police. There are sometimes single
police officers directing traffic at the large cross-roads where
there are no traffic lights. And sometimes where there are. It is
usually sensible to obey their instructions. Obstruction of
following vehicles when asking directions of a P.C. is permitted.
Mobile Police Units - there are none.
Rule 11: Dual Carriageway. On these roads always
travel in the outside lane (as in the U.K.) and overtake if
necessary via the slow lane. (Rule 1(c)). There are no left hand
slip roads for turning right via over- or underpasses, so
if your destination is on the right-hand side of the road, do
not, under any circumstances, travel to the central reservation
gap past your destination and drive back to it in the
correct direction; this would be a waste of time and fuel.
Instead, turn through the gap before your destination and
travel in the face of on-coming traffic, in the outside lane,
until you reach your destination. Turn across on-coming traffic,
not forgetting to warn them with your horn.
Rule 12 : Always expect to meet
another vehicle coming towards you on your side of the road.
Rule 13 : Road Rage. There is no such thing as
Road Rage in India. The worst that can happen, and even this is
exceedingly rare, is Road Mild Irritation. Since everybody,
without exception, is behaving equally well or badly on the road,
Road Rage is a totally pointless concept. A single stoppage
caused by it could bring an entire city centre to a standstill
and must inevitably defeat the Primary Objective.
D.M.S. Sept. 1998
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